It happens to everyone. You meet a real estate agent, they’re friendly, they’ve got all the right answers, and they genuinely seem to care. But after a few chats, you realize they’re not the right fit. Maybe they push listings you don’t want. Maybe they don’t listen. Or maybe you’ve just had enough calls and texts. The truth? You don’t owe them your time. But saying "no" the wrong way can leave bad blood - especially in a small market like Auckland. Here’s how to shut it down cleanly, respectfully, and without burning bridges.
Don’t ghost them
Ghosting might feel easy. You stop replying. You ignore calls. You disappear. But in New Zealand’s property market, word travels fast. Real estate agents talk. They share notes. A reputation for being unprofessional or flaky can come back to haunt you - even if you’re just a buyer. If you’ve had two or three conversations and you’re sure you’re not moving forward, a short, clear message is better than silence.Be specific, not vague
Avoid saying things like "I’m not sure yet" or "I’m still looking." Those phrases keep the door open. And agents will keep trying. Instead, say exactly what’s true. For example:- "I’ve decided to focus on rentals for now, so I won’t be buying in the next 12 months. Thanks for your help."
- "I’m working with another agent who’s already showing me properties that match what I need. I appreciate your time, but I’m not looking elsewhere."
- "The type of homes you’re showing me aren’t what I’m after. I’m looking for something older with character, and you’re mostly showing new builds. I don’t think we’re a good match."
Being specific gives them closure. It also helps them adjust their search for future clients. They’ll thank you - even if they don’t say it out loud.
Use email, not text
Texts feel casual. They’re easy to ignore. Emails feel intentional. They’re harder to dismiss. Even if you’ve been chatting on WhatsApp or SMS, switch to email for your final message. It shows you’re taking this seriously. Keep it short. Three or four sentences max. Here’s a template you can adapt:Hi [Agent’s Name], Thanks so much for taking the time to show me properties and answer my questions. I really appreciate your effort. After reviewing everything, I’ve decided to pause my property search for now. I’m not looking to buy in the near future, and I don’t think we’re the right fit. I’ll be sure to reach out if my situation changes. Wishing you all the best with your clients. Kind regards, [Your Name]
This works because it’s polite, it’s clear, and it doesn’t leave room for follow-up. No "but what if…" or "have you seen this one?"
Don’t apologize for your boundaries
You might feel guilty. Like you’re letting them down. But this isn’t personal. Agents work with dozens of clients. They expect some to walk away. What they don’t expect is mixed signals. If you say "I’m not interested," mean it. Don’t add "but I’m still curious" or "maybe next year." That just creates confusion.One agent in Ponsonby told me last year: "I’ve had buyers say they’re not ready, then come back six months later asking for help. But the ones who say, "I’m not buying now, and here’s why,"? They’re the ones I remember. And I’ll help them when they’re ready."
What if they keep pushing?
Sometimes, agents don’t take the hint. They send another listing. They call again. They tag you in Instagram posts. That’s not professional. And it’s not okay.If this happens, reply once more - firmly and calmly:
Hi [Agent’s Name], I appreciate you following up, but I’ve already made it clear I’m not looking to buy. I’m not interested in further listings or calls. I’d appreciate it if you could remove me from your outreach list. Thank you for understanding.
If they still don’t stop, contact their branch manager. Most agencies have a client relations policy. They’ll step in. You’re not being harsh - you’re protecting your time.
Why this matters in New Zealand
Auckland’s property market is tight. Agents are busy. But they’re also human. They’re not robots. Most of them want to do a good job. They just need clear direction. When you give them one, they respect you for it. And if you ever come back - maybe in a year, maybe after a job change - they’ll remember you as someone who was honest. That’s worth more than a dozen warm leads.Also, think about referrals. If you know someone else looking for a home, you’ll want to recommend someone reliable. The agent who handled you with respect? You’ll send them your friend. The one who ignored your "no"? You won’t. Your reputation matters - even if you’re not selling.
Final tip: Keep it simple
You don’t need a novel. You don’t need to explain your entire life story. Just say:- "I’m not buying."
- "I’m not interested."
- "I’m working with someone else."
Then thank them. And stop engaging.
Real estate agents aren’t salespeople trying to trick you. Most of them are just trying to do their job. But they can’t do it if you don’t give them clear boundaries. Saying "no" isn’t rude. Staying silent is.
What if I change my mind later? Will the agent still help me?
Yes - and they’ll likely remember you fondly. Agents appreciate clients who are honest. If you said clearly that you weren’t buying now, but you’re ready later, most will be happy to help. In fact, many agents keep notes on past clients. They’ll reach out if they see something that matches your original criteria. Just send a quick message: "Hi [Name], I’m looking again. Are you still available?" That’s all it takes.
Can I block a real estate agent on WhatsApp or phone?
You can, but only after you’ve given them a clear, polite exit. Blocking without warning feels abrupt and can create tension. If you’ve already sent a clear message and they keep contacting you, then yes - blocking is fair. But don’t do it as your first move. First, set the boundary. Then, if they ignore it, protect your space.
Is it okay to say I’m working with another agent?
Absolutely. It’s one of the clearest, most respectful ways to end things. Real estate agents know this happens. In fact, many have agreements with other agents to share leads. Saying you’re already working with someone shows you’re serious - and it saves everyone time. Just don’t name names unless you’re comfortable. "I’m working with another agent" is enough.
What if the agent asks why I’m not interested?
You don’t owe them a detailed reason. But if you want to be kind, give one brief one: "The homes you’re showing me don’t match my needs," or "I’ve decided to wait until next year." Avoid blaming them personally. Focus on your situation, not their performance. That keeps it professional.
Should I tell them if I bought elsewhere?
It’s thoughtful, but not required. If you feel like it, a quick "Hey, I ended up buying a place in Grey Lynn - thanks for your help!" can leave a great impression. But if you don’t, that’s fine too. Your privacy matters. They won’t hold it against you.